I'm Not Apologizing
by Xenolord
Summary: A little story about a love between a Hunter and their Guild Rep. Humans mate for love and... if the love is true, for life. Rated T. Shoujo-Ai.


Disclaimer: I don't own Monster Hunter. Erizen, however, is mine.

Author's Note: Stemmed from a question posed by a monster hunting buddy.

I'm Not Apologizing

She was tired. Exhausted, even. She wasn't one to really sleep most of the day away, she usually got up early and was hitting up the Guild Sweetheart for something to keep her busy for the day. Today, however... today seemed like a perfect 'sit on your ass and do nothing' day. She'd even managed to wiggle her way out of her armor, the sandfish hide suit piled neatly on the side table. Curling up under the covers, she snuggled up and sighed happily, one hand sliding under her pillow to support her head.

She liked it here. Moga Village was nowhere near as chaotic as Yukumo - her last posting; and they had some freaky monsters here... but they were good people, and that was something. Breathing deep, she took in the crisp sea air, her sinuses considerably clearer then from living down wind of the blacksmith's. She liked her set up here, and she kinda wished it wouldn't end. Her tenure in Moga was coming to a close, however... It made her sad, perhaps moreso then it should. She knew she had been promoted to Elite Status amongst the Guild and could go where ever she wanted... She also knew she could only 'technically' go where she wanted. She was still - after all - at the beck and call of the Guild.

She heard a faint knock near the door (which was more like a drape covering the entrance), but she ignored it. She didn't want to be bothered today. She already had to babysit a couple of scrubs tomorrow, and didn't feel like stressing herself too much today. "Hello!" A voice called from the door, causing her to groan. "Erizen!" The voice continued.

"Erizen's dead... died of boredom." The Hunter responded casually as she rolled over in bed. The voice chuckled as it got closer. Christ, girl... does the word privacy mean anything to you? She knew the voice well, it was one she enjoys hearing and hated hearing in equal measure. It was Mishka, the Guild Receptionist assigned to Moga Village. Sweet girl she was, she had a voice like a Jaggi's bark sometimes.

"Dead girls don't talk, silly!" She smiled, her voice now incredibly close to Erizen. Rolling over once more, blue eyes met Erizen's purple causing her to groan. "They don't open their eyes, either!" She was the kind of girl who always smiled, regardless of what was happening. Her smiled flickered as Erizen shut her eyes and curled deeper under the sheets. "Hey... You're awfully sedentary today... You sick? This isn't like you."

"'M fine." Erizen responded, rolling back over. "I fought Stylin' Jinoga yesterday..." It was her little pet name for Stygian Jinoga, his red and black motif carried an impressive style. In Moga, he was referred to as Zinogre, but Erizen felt 'Jinoga' was easier say. And cooler. "He kicked my ass something fierce..." Mishka blinked at this, but then smiled.

"But... You beat it..."

"This is true... but he still kicked my ass... I'm so sore right now, and I just want to sleep for a bit longer." Mishka's smiled broadened.

"You need a massage!" Erizen laughed, shaking her head through her pillow.

"Nah, nah, nah." She responded, closing her eyes. "I just need some rest." Her bed shook as Mishka laughed her usual childish giggle. Erizen felt her hands on her shoulders, shaking her.

"C'mon! On your stomach!" Erizen struggled before she felt the covers ripped from her grip.

"Damn, girl... why don't you find an outlet for all that strength?"

"Stomach!"

"No... It'll be super awkward."

"It won't be awkward, Eri! What'll be awkward about it?"

"Everything." Mishka puffed up and hopped off the bed, grinning.

"Luckily for me... My mom taught me a useful little mix'a plants to cure awkwardness."

"You can't cure awkwardness, goof." Erizen chuckled as she closed her eyes again. Although... now that she seriously thought about it... a massage would feel good.

"Sure you can!" There came the sound of Erizen's wooden storage chest creaking open. "I just need to borrow some stuff and-" A pause. Erizen opened her eyes open at the sudden void in Mishka's voice. She was slightly concerned at this when she rolled over. Framed by the large, open window was the little Guild Sweetheart holding what appeared to be a smaller, cute version of herself. She held it up to the light, her smile fading for a moment, flickering into a concerned frown.

"Erizen... What's this?" She asked, turning to her with the doll in her hand. "Where did you get this?"

"I think you should ask the Argosy Captain that... and don't buy the 'I provided the materials and traded him a Deviljho's stomach in payment to have it custom made by a Wyverian Doll Maker in Yukumo' line he'll probably feed you, because it is total bullshit." Despite her calm exterior, the experienced Hunter was sweating on the inside. She had, indeed, provided the materials from various Monsters to an old acquaintance in Yukumo who specialized in small dolls to make it for her. It was a rather common rumor floating about Moga Village that Erizen had a fairly large crush on the Guild Sweetheart, as obvious by her extended chats with her pre and post quest completion.

"Erizen it's... so well made how'd..." She shook her head, pulling the doll's arm up a bit, watching the little doll with awe. "I don't know if I should be concerned or tickled..." Throwing the covers off, Erizen finally stood.

"I dunno." She mused, trudging her way to the box. "If I saw a doll of me in a pretty girl's room, I'd be pretty chuffed. In a good way." She held the doll close, and if the Hunter squinted really close, she could almost see a small blush creep across her pale cheeks. She cuddled the doll close to her chest, smiling.

"I think it's cute... kinda creepy in a way how you got it in my exact likeness... but sweet." She looked at the doll once more and smiled longingly. "D'you want to hear something stupid, but funny?" Erizen blinked.

"You'd be hard pressed to say something stupid."

"Well... see... there's a secret I've kept from... Well, everyone in Moga. It's why I joined the Guild in the first place. I've... always loved Hunters. They're strong, kind and so... dashing. I've secretly always wanted a Hunter to see me as more then a work associate... to view me as something..." She paused then pulled the doll away, staring longingly into the two little obsidian pellets set as eyes. She smiled. "Something more." She turned away, glaring ruefully at the fish rack sitting next to the chest. "To have one wait for my shift to end... to say 'Hey Mishka. You work so hard that I want to take you out for a thank you dinner.'" She laughed bitterly, hating herself for spilling her entire soul. "It's a stupid dream, I know. We support the Hunters, and they support us - I know that's how it is. I... I hate that I feel this way sometimes. All these shameful... hurtful things I think, all the times I want to be selfish." She placed the doll back in the chest. "You're the only Hunter I've ever worked with to care enough about me to even ask my name." Erizen blinked again, shocked.

"I'm always 'the quest bitch' or the 'guild sweetheart'." Tears weren't too far behind her suffering tone. "I want to be someone's sweet heart." She shook her head and faced Erizen once more, forcing a smile onto her face, though the forming tears told Erizen of her lie. "I guess I'm just a stupid little girl, after all... huh?" She started out towards the door, but a hand reached out and took hers, stopping her mid stride.

"Mishka. You're not a stupid little girl." Came Erizen's voice. The hand tightened in hers, causing the black-haired girl in red to shiver. "Every day I go out, you smile and wave... the way you say 'come back in one piece'... I just know they're more then words to you. I'm out there fighting... I'm not protecting just the village. I fight with ferocity I never dreamed I had. I fight for one reason, Mishka. You. Your smile. When I cone back, the look on your face is one of pure happiness. Of relief. You worry about me, don't you?"

"In the ten years I've worked for the guild... your the first, Erizen. The first to see me as a person. A living, breathing person with wants, needs and desires. I'm not a tool to you. I'm not 'the quest bitch'. I'm... me." She was coming apart at the seams, her blue eyes shimmering through the puddles which had formed. Her voice cracked as she began to cry. "When I talk to you, I'm human again, dammit!" Erizen pulled the girl into a soft hug, holding her tightly. "When I'm with you, I'm human again... and you're going to leave this village soon and I hate it! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! I don't want go back to being just the quest bitch." She was using the term a lot... She must have heard it before.

"Hey..." Erizen cooed, stroking her back gently as she sobbed. "Don't cry now. I'm not going anywhere, alright? I promise I'll stay here... because I like you. A lot." Mishka looked up at her, eyes still quaking, and swallowed hard.

"Ruh... really?" She blubbered, unable to believe her ears. Erizen smiled that confident grin she oft wore when she'd go and do something dangerous.

"You bet. You're really one of two reasons I stay here, anyway. Other's the food, but that one plays second fiddle. I guess... I guess you could say I've... kinda been hiding a secret too. I've had a huge crush on you since I got here." Mishka' s entire face went redder then Rathlos', her eyes opened wide at the confession.

"Really..." Her words were filled with an air of want underlining a powerful desire. "But... we're both girls... we... can't fall in love. Can we?" Erizen smiled, taking the little red beret off Mishka's head and dropped it on the table. She ran her hand across the top of her head, the girl's soft black hair brushing gently against her skin. Mishka closed her eyes and snuggled into Erizen, farther and farther into her touch.

"There are no wrong answers... when the question is from the heart." Mishka shuddered with those words. She practically shivered with the poetic side of the Hunter she never knew existed. "Even though I know that each time you've sent me out, it was at another's behest... I feel as though I've climbed active volcanoes in your name... slain giant monsters for your love... I feel that... as long as I've got you to come back to... I can't be beaten. Deviljho, Fatalis... whatever the beast, it cannot defeat me."

"Poetry... I've... always been a sucker for poetry." Erizen would be the first to admit she wasn't the best at it... but it seemed as though Mishka didn't care. Erizen pulled away from the girl and smiled.

"I'll make a promise to you. Here and now. I'm going to go hunt the fiercest creature around. I'm going to plunge myself head-first into Hell's grasp, and return with the most beautiful Wyvern Gem I can find. And when I return with Gem in hand, it will prove that nothing can stop me... That my love for you can conquer even Hell itself. When I return, Mishka... if you'll still stay by my side... I'll devote myself to you. Wholly and completely."

Those sapphire eyes simmered brilliantly in the natural afternoon light. Somehow, Mishka trusted Erizen implicitly, and as the two kissed with the ocean to their backs, both knew what they felt was real. The next morning, Erizen set off on her quest to find the most beautiful of Wyvern Gems to gift to her beloved Mishka.

-Six Weeks Later-

"It's been almost two months, pops... You think she's got a chance at surviving?" Mumbled the Moga Village Chief's son, his voice low so Mishka couldn't hear his naysaying. He had a point, however, and all knew it. Common Guild doctrine held that a Hunter who fails to return from a Hunt after two days his either dead, or mortally wounded. Far excursions on a Hunter's own was heavily frowned upon. There was no Guild support, and it was impossible for them to be recovered on the chance they were to parish. The elderly Former Hunter shook his head.

"That girl made a skirt of my nemesis, Old Ivory. She made a table cloth out of Ceadeus. She made a pair of pajamas out of a Lucent Nargacuga. Whatever this world has to offer, Junior... It ain't prepared for Erizen." His son nodded to his father's wise pinings, but even the word of his old man couldn't stop the growing fear in his heart. The village chief had already asked his good friend who captained the Argosy to keep both eyes peeled for sign of her, and both ears tuned to hints on her location. Sadly, both had turned out to be dry wells.

At the far end of the dock, nearest Mishka's post, sat a single figure, the red beret on her head sitting as though it never left. There sat Mishka, her eyes plastered to the sea, in hopes that today would be the day... the day her love came home. Few knew why Mishka took Erizen's sudden disappearance so hard, and those that did were smart enough not to say a word. This day had almost ended. Another small slice of her heart went to join the countless other pieces of her that had died over the weeks. And with each part that died, something grew that much more stronger inside of her.

"I sent her to her death." These six words consumed all the happiness from her mind and all the tears from her eyes. This is what it really meant to loose someone. There was no letter returned to the village. No small sign of her as either proof she might be alive or alluding to her death. There was just the wait. The painful, all-consuming wait. She hated it.

Far in the distance, in the dying light, the familiar form of the Argosy could be seen pulling into port. Had it been that long since their last visit? The days really were rolling into one, weren't they?

Soon, the massive ship pulled up and dropped the gangplank, the Captain striding off towards the Cheif's son, who handled pretty much everything. Mishka didn't move from her spot, eyes still gazing ruefully towards the horizon.

"Hey." A gruff, vaguely female voice spoke behind her. Mishka didn't flinch. "You the Guild Rep for this village?" Mishka nodded. It was a new Hunter... It was as she feared.

"I'm sorry. Moga Village already has a Hunter posted here. She's the best, kindest, and bravest Hunter ever. You go back and tell the Guild that we don't need another." The newcomer laughed.

"Replaced me already, have you? Mishka." Her voice changed was it... the girl sprang up and locked eyes with a pair of purple orbs she thought dead.

"Er-" She didn't dare believe. The woman dropped the hood, her fire red hair spilling out over her shoulders, the little soldier hat on her head sitting there as it it belonged. Mishka stopped thinking, stopped blinking, stopped breathing as she stood, stunned. "Erizen?"

"Yeah. What, do I have something on my face." Mishka's face scrunched up into that mix of sadness and relief, her tears returning anew. The girl threw herself into Erizen's arms, sobbing. She curled her right hand into a fist and pounded her lover's armored shoulder.

"Six weeks!" Mishka sobbed. "You were gone six weeks, we thought you were dead! How could you? How could you?!" Her words devolved completely into unintelligible sobs as Erizen softly smiled.

"I'm sorry. Honestly, I am. Hey... Don't cry, I'm back..." Mishka couldn't stop her tears, she just cried and held onto her tightly, as if she were grasping onto the only anchor in a storm. "I searched for these long six weeks looking for the mot beautiful Gem I could find, the most perfect, most shimmering, most beautiful Gem... but I couldn't find it anywhere, no matter how hard I searched." Mishka shook her head, burying her face into Erizen's shoulder.

"You idiot... none of that matters. You're back... You're back in my arms where you belong and that's all I care about..." Erizen lifted her chin with a finger, smiling.

"I couldn't find it... because I had left it behind... here in the village. And now I'm back to claim it... My Perfect Gem." Holding her tight, Erizen pressed her lips against Mishka's, the girl's salted tears a sign that she was alive, that all of this was reality. The pair held each other impossibly tight, refusing to allow the other to ever save again.

As any Hunter will tell you, Wyverns vary from people in a few important ways. As a whole, Wyverns are far more resilient then humans, able to withstand mortal injuries without fear of death. Wyverns, with a few exceptions, do not stay in one place for more then a few weeks, choosing a more nomadic lifestyle. Finally, perhaps the most glaring difference betwixt Wyverns and Humans is Wyverns mate for life. When a Rathlos and a Rathian meet and fall in love - if love is a capable emotion to them - they stay together for as long as they both draw breath.

With all these differences between Wyverns and Humans, there is a similarity. Legend holds that Wyverns can mourn. A mated Rathlos and Rathian will only live so long as the other does. Even in the event the other's death is avenged, the lonely Wyvern shall tear off it's own wings and throw itself from the highest mountain to join it's betrothed. It is this unfailing, unparalleled devotion that separates Humans from Wyverns. But even a species as fundamentally flawed as Humanity can express traits of their betters. Humans mate for love and.. if the love is true, for life.


End file.
